More Lame Jokes..

Yo people! These are jus some jokes to take you off your busy mind..

QUOTE: A day without laughter is a day wasted

Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

Two ropes walk into a bar. The bartender says to the rope "Hey! we don't serve ropes in here" so one of the ropes left. The other rope frayed up his hair and tied himself in a knot. The bartender said to the rope "Are you a rope?" and the rope said " I'm afraid not"

Why was the Tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing.

A frog is looking for a loan, so he goes into a bank. He sits down at a desk and the name plate says "Patty Whac". He talks to Patty about the loan and she asks him what he has for collateral. The frog replies well I have this vase. He pulls the vase out of a bag to show her. Patty says "well thats just a cheap knick-knack". Then the owner notices the vase and says to himself "gee that's from the 17th century, it's worth tons of money" So he walks over to patty and says "Thats no knick-knake Patty Whac give the frog a loan".

A termite walks into a barroom and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

How do you catch a squirrel? Climb into a tree and act like a nut.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts to do it.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was too chicken.

What do John the Baptist & Winnie the Pooh have in common? Their middle name.

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have phones.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck!

Why don't cannibals eat comedians? Because they taste funny.

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

How do you catch a unique rabbit? U Neaq up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, you neaq up on it.

W hy do they put bells on cows? Because their horns don't work!

Two sausages are in a pan. One looks at the other and says "Gee, it's hot in here." and the other sausage says "OH MY GOODNESS IT'S A TALKING SAUSAGE!"